Excerpt from Introduction: If you are reading this book, you might have experienced that awkward moment when you go up to thank a veteran or ask him about his service, and suddenly your mind goes blank. You’ve probably spent 5-7 minutes trailing him around the store and giving yourself a pep talk to work up the courage, but just when you need those little neurons the most, they fail you. You mumble out a quick, “Thank you for your service,” and dash away to hide in between the tea leaves and coffee grinds of aisle 8. 

Or maybe that has never happened to you because just the idea of walking up to a complete stranger and initiating a conversation puts lead in your boots, causes your hands to sweat, and turns your throat dry. 

Frankly, both scenarios have happened to me far more times than I’d like to admit. I am not naturally an out-going, chatty person. For years I struggled with feeling uncomfortable initiating conversations with strangers.

When I first started working with veterans, one of the most helpful tips I received was to practice soundbites. Soundbites changed everything. We use soundbites on a daily basis. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we all have prepared sentences and responses in our minds to help combat each situation that confronts us: explaining your job to a friend, describing the issue with your car to the mechanic, everyday pleasantries you use at the grocery store, work, or church. We all have handy phrases and expressions ready to save us in that inevitable moment because, truly, there are few things more terrifying to an introvert or reserved individual than an unplanned conversation or awkward silence.

To ready myself to enter the field of meeting and interviewing WW2 veterans, I came up with a quick list of reference questions to keep in the front of my mind. As I became more familiar with the questions and learned what the veterans enjoy talking about, I was able to rely less and less on my list, and more on conversational experience. 

Eventually, I didn’t even think about it until I started receiving emails and messages on a regular basis that asked questions like, “How do you know what to say when you meet a veteran?” or “I’m shy about talking to strangers,” or “What questions can I ask that he will be comfortable answering?” And “Does the veteran even want me to ask questions?”

So I pulled out my original list of questions and started sharing that with other people. And then I thought it might be helpful to expand my first list and add a few other tips I’ve picked up along the way.

This is not “10 steps to a perfect interview or conversation,” and this is certainly not a formula. I can’t guarantee that reading this or even memorizing anything I’ve written will get you out of every uncomfortable situation. Years of practice and thousands of veterans later, I still occasionally find myself in this pickle. However, I can tell you that the following pages will help to give you a good foundation to work from and more confidence to step out of your comfort zone.

You might even find that these conversation starters can help you in other areas of life.